|[insert offensive rap lyric here]
||[May. 8th, 2006|12:38 am]
i should have been doing homework tonight, but for the last several hours i have been reading my livejournal... the early years. DAMN. it's amazing how much i have changed over the last FEW years. at this point i don't really feel all that grown up, but looking back at how i used to think, and the experiences and people i used to value, i really am. there is so much that i am living with right now that seemed so scary just 2 years ago, now it's just a part of my life. really weird, college is really weird. things like boyfriend, graduation, los angeles, jobs, adulthood; they are all here now, and right in my stupid face, and i actually like it. i'm really here, i really made it this far. i'm really here. after all the heartbreaks and failed midterms, i'm still here. my childhood is really over. my stupid college pre-21 years are really over. and in a month, college will be over too. joecollege will be something from the past. wow. sometimes i wish i could just be 20 years old forever, there is a part of me that really really wants it back; i just wish i could live like that forever, in that amzing place between my irresponsible youth and my self righteous adluthood. and as hard as it was sometimes, it was a time that really opened me up to the values of both immaturity and adulthood; but that's the past, yet it still feels like a huge of my present. and future... well here goes nuthin.
ps... ashley church, i really miss you, and want to hang out soon.